Club run reports - 9th November

Category 6 ride led by Kevin McPheat
 

The Epic of the Ten Merry Men: A Cat 6 Odyssey:

Sing, O Muse, of the ten who from Allenburys’ gates did ride,

At the ninth hour of morn, their wheels glinting in the watery sun,

Bound for Mill End, that distant café of cakes and tea.

Lo! Their leader, noble yet fallible, erred in his wisdom—

For upon his Strava, the sacred route was wrongfully inscribed!

A grievous blunder, yet met with laughter, not scorn.

For among these riders, fellowship conquered folly.

And Peter and David, faithful to their glowing Garmins,

Did stray upon forbidden lanes,

Proving once again that the false oracle of Garmin

Leads mortal men astray—

While Strava, bright and true, yet reigns supreme

In the pantheon of navigational gods.

Through mists they rode, through mud and leaf and water,

Where tyres slipped like eels upon Neptune’s road.

Tony, valiant and steadfast, did tarry behind with Daniel,

His return to the host a joy to all who beheld him.

At last they reached the hallowed hall of Mill End,

Where they feasted as heroes do:

Upon Bakewell tarts, toasted teacakes, beans divine,

Fat Cokes, and the smoke of contemplation.

Then silence—two minutes of stillness—

To honour the fallen before the road called again.

When Helios rose high, they turned their steeds homeward,

Through Sandon’s slopes and Buntingford’s gentle vale.

Tony again lagged behind, yet Adrian,

He of cunning mind and rarest altruism,

Did linger with him, his motives a mystery to all.

Fierce blew the wind from the south,

As they pressed toward the bus stop of Malton.

But lo! Where were David and Daniel?

Lost! Yet not lost—soon they reappeared,

David’s tyre rent by the cruel spear of flint,

Yet healed by the magic goo of tubeless lore.

Thus did all ten return from trial unbroken,

Their cramps stretched, their spirits high.

And the gods looked down from Olympus, nodding approval,

For ten set forth, and ten returned —

A full company, unbowed by fate,

Their names sung in glory among the Cat 6.

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Assisted slightly by AI and Homer